was listening to 2pac nostaligc even then, something in his voice, something lost even then?

House plants watered earlier today, gathered from around the house, all sitting next to kitchen sink, in front of window, still sitting there, next to me, me in this moment getting them in a way I normally don't. R&B late night style, slow jams on 105.1 playing for the last couple of hours. Some boy just left my house. Wine being drank again. Bed about to be hopped into, radio turned off. I just got a massage for an hour and had to do nothing. The Internet is amazing, that one can request a massage and nothing else and that thing can be had. More was had. I got my first blowjob with a condom on, weird and amazingly stimulating in a new way. My body had felt so tense and knotty for the past few days. Hands are amazing. My body is a body of water again, fluid feeling, amazing. God, that two hands can create this feeling, can knead out all that tension that existed, can create an absence so pleasurable and amazing that I am using metaphors, that I am a puddle, is proof of something.