Sunday, April 13, 2014

Ben Harper - "Burn One Down"

I was getting a blowjob from this guy. A sunny afternoon, the middle of the day, a lazy Sunday. There were a lot plants in his apartment. It looked lived-in for decades. Out his windows were beautiful tableaus, an old New York made of West Village buildings that I could have easily been looking at decades and decades ago. I could have been getting this blowjob in the 50s, some closeted gay man, and would probably be looking at the same collection of brick buildings outside these windows as now.

I was on my back on his bed. I looked down at my own body, at my dick disappearing and reappearing. He paused and held my cock in his hand. He looked at my body in this hungry way, took the sight in. The attention made me feel really good. His eyes scanning my body felt as good as any caress from his hands. I saw in a way I don't always do what he was seeing. I was looking really good. He said, "Beautiful," and kept looking at my body. I looked it over, the sunlight coming through the window was doing my stomach some great favors, throwing shadows, making things look more defined than they are.

It was nice, an intense physical encounter. It felt really good afterward to lie back exhausted with this guy for those couple moments you allow yourself before the weight of some notion of reality forces itself upon you again. For a brief moment, the spell had yet to be broken, that joy, that pleasure, that comfort. It has such a short lifespan.

I got dressed and left. I ate a burrito. I then went to the gym to make myself something else.

After this long, long, so long, miserable winter, the sun and some warm weather made an appearance. I forgot how good it feels. Mid-April now, some trees have finally started to blossom. Most trees are still bare, ugly branches sprouting nothing but their own sadness, nothing but ours. Finally, little flowers are appearing, bits of green.

I listened to music on my headphones and walked around from here to there, from there to there. There were people in t-shits, forearms showing, men in shorts, women in skirts without tights. People were starting to blossom also. Everyone was looking so good today and I think everyone thought the same thing, everyone walking about town with smiles that just can't be helped, everyone feeling everyone and everything, a great Spring vibe that everyone was jamming to, feeling.

Life can feel this way. I forgot what temperatures in the seventies felt like, forgot how heavenly such days can be after months and months of miserable coldness. Happiness is back in town.

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