I rode to the Lorimer stop today on the L to pick up my bike, the last of my things left to move from Grand Street, and the ride there, from Jefferson to Lorimer, felt unbearably long, scared me a bit about my new residence. I picked up my bike and biked home, feeling a lot better, bikes tending to do that to you, making you feel better, the sky above me, cars passing me by as I balanced a curtain rod with one arm, purchased for partioning off my room from the rest of the apartment, and, God, the ride on my bike was probably quicker than the subway ride and certainly much more enjoyable, made things seem not really that far away at all. It is very clear that I am going to be biking a lot more than I have been, and about that I am really excited.
I don't feel it yet, the change, the ending, the beginning. Last night, Niki and I, sitting in my now former apartment, the Grand Street one, talked about that place, Niki asking me if I was sad to leave it. I was not sad, had not really contemplated the move too much in the past few days, too busy having fun on Fire Island and occupying myself with other distractions. Niki said that she was sad, far more sad than I was, that she had a lot emotionally invested in the place. She was the person that was supposed to originally move in with me there four years ago. There was a second time where she almost moved in. There were streches of time where she stayed on our couch or chaise lounge, the chaise lounge brought into the apartment by her. That piece of furniture stayed behind, the thing now a memory, no longer a ratty piece of furniture in my living room.
Things have changed and things have not. I dream about boys in the evening time and dream about food in the daytime. Thoughts concerning my lack of a job stress me out when I think of them, which I do not do often enough. I watch movies, read books, and don't write. So what else is new?