Thursday, September 16, 2010


Saturday night, it slowly started to happen. Smoking a cigarette seemed like a bad idea. The back of my throat felt weird, the beginnings of a cold. It came on fast, an incredibly swollen throat, tonsils streaked with white spots. This stupid thing has lasted for so long now, my tonsils still incredibly swollen. I feel like the last week of my life is one that in all honestly might as well be erased as never having happened. I have rarely left the house, have either slept in bed, slept on the couch, or watched crap on tv or the internet until I fell back asleep on either the couch or the bed. I went to work on Tuesday, which was a mistake, because it was insanely busy, it being Fashion Week, literally the worst week of the year at my job in which the workload increases probably by about twenty while the tips and general niceties shrink to near-zero. I didn't go in yesterday, instead went to the doctor. She even described the back of my throat as "gnarly." I get the test results back tomorrow, but she was fairly certain it was strep throat. If not that, then it is gonorrhea or chlamydia of the throat. Great. I got a shot of penicillin in the butt yesterday to treat it, assuming that it is strep.

Really intense thunderstorms have started. Hail stones hitting windows. Big streaks of lightening. My throat is feeling only slightly better today. I am no longer in terrible pain when I try to pass even water down my throat, which is a major plus.

I am going to try to not to smoke anymore once this passes. I had terrible foreshadowing feelings about what lung cancer might feel like, the pain involved with that, how terrible this felt, how I needed to do everything possible to protect my health, remembered how much pain my dad was in when he was dying.

I want a new job. I want to redecorate. I want many things. First though, I want my body and my throat back. I cannot wait to be over this sickness and hope it ends in the next couple of days so I can go out and live my life this weekend and get off this fucking couch.

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