Wednesday, January 18, 2012

awaiting the ten second mark when you can start the countdown

There was a third interview a few days ago, Monday. I listened to Nine Inch Nails' "Head Like a Hole" over and over again to get myself ready, to pump some blood, some energy, through this body, to make myself remember what it was like to be a teenager and hungry, so fucking hungry.

This morning at the deli I normally go to on my way to work, oddly called "Super Gourmet Deli" since there is nothing super or gourmet about it, they handed me a brown bag, which I realized halfway between the deli and my place of employment was not my food. The sandwich was definitely bigger than a bagel with butter on it, what I normally get from there. They had handed me some construction dude's sandwich. I ate it when I got to work, a giant grilled chicken sandwich, a bit much for 7am, but probably not if you are going to a construction site I guess. I imagined his disappointment when seeing what was in his bag was probably far greater than mine when I saw what was in mine.

I am still waiting for a decision, word on whether I got this new job or not. I am pretty sure I did, but the not knowing is so painful. I want to get out of my current job, want to be somewhere new, and want these people to tell me yes, so I can turn my notice in and have an official end date, start counting down the dates until change.

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