Sunday, November 17, 2013

CCR - "Lodi"

When I was in college, all of my friends had landlines. Very few had cellphones. I knew when people weren't going to be able to pick up their phone sometimes and I would occasionally play into their answering machine a song I really liked. I did this with a couple friends and with the various boy I may have been interested in.

Last night, I got several calls that showed up as my own phone number. I assumed it was some telemarketer or someone else obnoxious. I did not answer my phone after and rejected the three calls in succession. Then a call right after showed up with a 646 number. I hit ignore again, thinking it was the same person. I was also busy getting ready to go out to the MIX Festival.

They left a message. The message was nothing but Creedence Clearwater's "Lodi." I don't know what the purpose of this message was since it's a fairly bleak and depressing song, and have no clue who left it. I do like though that it was a CCR song because it reminded me even more of college years in Florida, since I used to be very much so into that band then.

At the MIX Festival, there were numerous cute guys I had never seen before, the space a fairly large and crowded space. The space was lined with giant pillows that people were lounging on, making out on, framing the space with a some languorous sexually charged air, an opium den of sorts. I had taken some Adderall and so wasn't in the same mellow mindset that the energy of the space had. I felt pretty awkward and danced to feel less so, smoked a lot of cigarettes to feel less so as well, and stared at cute boys, not knowing how to approach people anymore apparently.

I finally talked to this one guy who I had been eyeing as we danced near each other on the dancefloor. He said he liked my tattoo. I said I liked everything about him. We ended up dancing to Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." How appropriate. He left about halfway through the song though.

There was another cute guy, a redhead with a mustache who I passed numerous times in the space and who I kept exchanging glances with. For some reason, I never said hi. I kept on trying to push myself up over that hump, to say hello to this person. I didn't. The music eventually got cut off because of noise complaints or something and with the music no longer on, he soon disappeared from the space, beautiful man who I failed to talk to.

This other guy started talking to me who I know, or kind of know, of know through various friends and don't really know at all, having never actually talked to this person one on one. He was hitting on me, told me I was cute. I had tried hitting on this person a couple times in the past, in the company of shared friends and he always gave me the cold shoulder, ignored me. I told him this and he admitted that it was true. We chatted for a long while, though I had that terrible problem that I sometimes get of not being able to commit, to wanting to see what other options were available, whom else I might be able to have some sort of romance for. The guy I had danced with earlier passed by while I was talking to this one guy and gave me some sort of look that said a lot.

I circled the place, looking for something better, red head guy, other imagined personifications of either immediate sexual or more longer-term romantic happiness. Soon this person was gone, that person was, and I stood awkwardly alone on a dance floor all options gone for the night, having been too picky, watching various other coupled off people all around me. Lesson learned.

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