Monday, January 13, 2014

The Red Beanie

This past weekend, I lost a red winter cap. I have had this red winter cap for a couple of years. When that boy and I had a sleepover at my hotel a week or so ago, I accidentally grabbed his winter cap in the morning on my way out instead of mine. I was wearing this cap, this one belonging to someone else, on Friday night. I met a guy, an Elias. We started dancing to Beyonce’s “Flawless.” Soon thereafter we were making out. At some point, he decided he was going to wear my hat.

I did not go home with him because my landlord was supposedly coming at ten in the morning to switch out my fridge. As such, I never got my hat back. Perhaps this red beanie will continue on its journey of gay men in New York City, a gayer, post-millenial version of The Red Balloon.

The landlord did not come at ten in the morning to fix the fridge. He did not come at any time that day. This was his second time flaking on an appointment we had set up. The fridge has not worked for the past couple of weeks. It has been an excuse, an excuse I hardly needed, to order a ton of burritos.

Today, after numerous calls to my landlord, after him failing to show up for many of the times he told me would show up, a pair of men pulled up in a beat up van covered in graffiti and unloaded an ugly old fridge. When my landlord told me he was going to bring by a new fridge, this is not what I had in mind. Not at all. The men unloaded this clunky fridge. I told them I didn’t think it would fit underneath the cabinets on the wall. They told me not to worry, that it would. It did not. It was basically sitting in the middle of my kitchen.

It was also incredibly loud. I called my landlord to tell him it was very loud. He told me to call the guys who dropped it off. They came back upstairs, moved it a couple feet, and it stopped making noise. I told them that it was going to keep making noise in a minute. They said it was just cause I had it too close to something. They left and soon after it was making an unbearable noise again. I sawed down the cabinets and now at least this fridge, noisy at it is, is no longer sitting in the middle of my kitchen.

I bought a new winter cap yesterday, fluorescent orange, the color hunters wear.

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