Wednesday, March 5, 2003

ash wednesday

I will not let bad churches temper the faith I am holding these days. Today is the start of Lent. I am giving up all tv and cinematic products. And starting tomorrow I am going to give up meat. I have already had pepporoni pizza and sushi today. Jamie, Bonnie, and I went to St. Martha's for mass tonight and it was dissapointing to say the least. I want to hear revolutionary love preached, I want church to somehow further incite this radicalism that Jesus tried to incite, to teach something, anything. But tonight's mass was the most hurried thing I have ever attended (at least as far as masses are concerned), there were no songs sung, no Apostle's Creed, no Nicene creed, no half of the things you would normally have at mass, and add to that a two mintue homily that I could not understand at all because English was not the priest's first language, and it is mine, and half his sentences were just not registering with me. Then: Mass is ended let us go in peace, and then another priest explaining how there was no real system for recieving the ash cross on your forehead, just telling us jokingly "to get the heaven out of here," which when taken into the context of the hurried mass we just atteneded, did not sound so joking. It was utter chaos, and it makes me so mad. This is why people don't have faith in things, right here, this is why.

I did not get my daily dose of tennis today. Jamie is moving soon and I do not know who I will play tennis with, who will play tennis with me. Jamie's eminent departure is making me plan mine. No one wants to be the last one left at a party. Entropy is starting to take place and I have to get the fuck out of Dodge. Plan as of now: Work here for another month or so, then once I have enough money saved for deposit and first and last months rent at an apartment, move move move to New York and live live live.

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