Wednesday, June 4, 2003

The public library just seemed like too long a wait today, and so here I am on Bedford Avenue, shelling out fifteen cents for every minute on this computer, so I can look at apartment ads, fire off e-mails, and tell you and myself that life is good, very good.

Did I mention that I called in sick to work today for no reason, whatsoever. It's not a particularly nice day, there is nothing that I really wanted to do. I just did not want to be at work, shelving books, and talking to psychos.

Now, on the subject of psychos at work, is it a compliment or a cause for concern if a gross 57 year old hits on you and gives you his number? Is this a reason to think that yes, you are an attractive young lad? Or dear god, so unattractive a young lad, that a gross 57 year old thinks that you are in the same league? He did invite me to go see a certain Broadway play with him that I have been wanting to see, and for this reason, I said yes, but within minutes my dignity got the better of my greed, and I told him no.

And here's a secret, don't tell anyone, shh, not everyone knows all ready. But, I cannot stay in one place. I have a desire to explore, to see this nation, every little crevice. And I have to be out of the place I am staying on the 21st. Three weeks to find another place in this town or hit the skies with my airline voucher and find another town. Who is whispering Austin, Austin in my ear? I have cowboy dreams, and sadly, I don't think they're worth the fifteen cents a minute to tell you about, so off I go again, into this town, where I want to read every posted flyer, every piece of litter blowing down the street. I want to see it, be a witness to the words before the rain, the wind, and the trample of feet, feet, and more feet, a neverending crashing of them - disintegrates the words, brings them back to the earth, the place where they all should have originated from, but sadly, in this city, they never seem to do that. They emanate from a place that I am not sure about. I guard myself when people, signs, and interiors of subways say these words. I wonder about their motivation, but yet, I read them nonetheless with the hope to understand it, all of this, just a little bit better.

No comments:

Post a Comment