Sunday, August 8, 2004

The beach in the morning has that very distinct sense of chill. The chill will seep into wherever you are, inside or out. The ocean rocks forward and back, and that cool wind laced with the tiniest bit of warmness is carried forward by the tide. And I swear, this morning, the muted hum of cars passing on the highway on a Sunday morning was the sound of the ocean. I checked the weather when I first woke up. It was only sixty three degrees. The chill had seeped into my house. As I walked from the shower to my room, I shivered, wet and cold, and kind of glad to be at the beach.

The sun is brighter and higher now. I have yet to step out of my apartment but I wonder if when I do, the clouds will look the same as they looked yesterday. Yesterday the sky was a cloud explosion, huge white, huge gray clouds all fucking massive and bursting at the seams, like in all those old 19th century landscape paintings that try to capture the sublime. And the sky behind these clouds was a blue that maybe you only see during the fall time. The haze of summer heat normally prevents you from noticing how blue the sky actually is, but god, yesterday with the cool temperatures, that sky was something else.

I found myself in the Circuit City bathroom yesterday on my lunch break, overcome with a case of bad gas waiting to use the toilet. There was this buff man in the stall peeing without the door closed. He left without flushing. I flushed the toilet for him and saw that he also did not bother to lift the seat, that there were droplets of piss on the seat. I thought back to that buff man and sat on the seat without wiping it, feeling the warm piss on the back of my thighs. I dabbed my finger to one of the droplets and put my finger to my tongue.

Coffee from a good coffee shop tastes better than anything I could ever brew at home. It has a certain thickness that cannot be achieved on a home machine, or at least not on the one that I have at my house.

I love it when you are sitting in a room without lights on during the daytime, using the daylight as your source of light, and you can watch the room get brighter for a few seconds, a minute even as the sun temporarily escapes from behind a few clouds. And the room you are sitting in brightens, and then dims, brightens, and then dims like a little kid is playing with the dimmer on the lamp, creating a mild strobe effect. This one, however, all natural.

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