Friday, April 6, 2007
I am breaking out a lot lately and that is nothing new, but what is new is my reaction, my lack of one, my comfort with my body. It could be happening so much these days because I am in a hot chicken outfit all the time, because I have started working out, because I rarely sleep, because I eat shit any chance I get, because because because, some of them lovely becauses. Most of the time, I am so amazingly happy. I am learning more and more that I contain anything I could want, that it's all right here, the happiness I sometimes used to seek elsewhere. I am not totally there yet but more and more aware of that place's presence and am slowly taking steps in that direction. I saw Patrick Wolf play last night and I enjoyed myself so much. I am reading a good book. I am listening to either Prince or this one (Smog) song pretty much all the time and it snowed yesterday for about ten minutes and I have to get dressed to go get drunk and dance and there are so many things planned for myself tomorrow during the daytime, too many really since I need to set aside time to write tomorrow. God, oh God, can it be real? Fuck me, a lack of sleep makes the world terrifying in its beauty. Oh music, sweet music. I am crying because Jackie Wilson is playing right now, and I am sure you know which song, and holy shit, I love caffeine and a lack of sleep and music and blue skys, dark ones even sometimes, and cute boys and cute kids and ugly kids and these hands and you.
at 5:43 PM