Friday, April 27, 2007

Yesterday, after working at the PR, I went uptown, riding a slow local train to the 103rd stop. I walked a few blocks to this man's house, thinking that the walk felt familiar and wondering if I had seen this person before. The lobby and the elevator also seemed to whisper confirmations to me of this feeling. He opened his door and I recognized him, remembered him, and felt a lot more at ease that I wasn't at a stranger's house, though to this man I think I was a stranger, him not seeming to show any signs of recognizing me from a couple of years ago.

I fucked his throat for a while until he came. I came shortly thereafter. We lay in his bed and started to talk, this man seeming stoned, and the conversation was really quite amazing, one of the nicer ones I have had in a while. Rather than dipping out right away afterwards and collecting my money, I instead hung around and talked for about forty minutes, really interested in this man's experiences and his thoughts about them, about life in general, how this man, who had had so many sexual experiences, viewed sexual obsession. The conversation jumped from Woody Allen to Preston Sturges to Michael Kramer and the Body Electric school, the meat of the talk though being about sexual desire and hunger and the forms that those take and whether it is possible to categorize certain manifestions of those as more or less healthy, good or bad. I really wish I could get into it more, but sadly I have to run out into this drizzling rain sans umbrella to go to the PR again.

This man admitted that at the height of his sex obsession, he blew through $60,000 in 3 months on hustlers off the internet. He told me stories about several of them, told them fondly, and most of his joy just seemed to come from having met all these people that he would have never met otherwise, a young Ukranian boy and an 18 year old Latino thuggish type from Queens, all of them nice he said and all of them with really fascinating ways of viewing the world. Briefly, I felt like I connected with someone last night, this man, and came really close to understanding some things that have been consuming my thoughts lately, have been doing so for the obvious reasons in addition to the fact that I am currently reading this particular book. The train ride home was amazing and I was so happy, looked up from my book at more than a few points and smiled at all of this.

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