Saturday, February 8, 2003

"this ain't rock n roll, this is genocide"

Today, it was dreary during the daytime. I picked up my bike from the bike shop and biked to work, sat there for eight hours, and read lots of St. Augustine, who I love. And maybe I drank quite a few cups of coffee during this period, and maybe I read lots of Augustine aloud because I was getting excited by it, because I read this a couple years ago, his Confessions, and was not nearly this moved by it then. Now, I realize how fucking amazing this thing is, how Augustine is such a beatnik, maybe a little more religious than the real ones, but he is all about love love love. And tomorrow I will go to work, sit for another eight hours, drink more coffee, and read more Augustine.

I went to school tonight. Dipped my toes in three social situations. Goldstein 201 where there was a b-day party for Christy. The wall, where there was the occasional good song played between lots of obnoxious shit, where there were few people I knew. And 3rd Court, packed with the hipster/activist crowd, where there was much better music, but where I felt so awkward. I want to get away. I would have stayed longer if I didn't know anyone, if these were fresh faces I would never see again, faces that didn't make me feel uncomfortable for whatever social anxiety reasons I could list if I gave a damn. And tomorrow brings the promise of more Augustine and when no one is asleep some loud loud David Bowie, some rock and roll.

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