The body and its need for sleep make me realize how precarious everything is, even seemingly solid things like physical balance, my mental state and sense of my self, that, tired, I get totally cracked out. I made a pointless blunder at work today right before going to lunch and had to come running back to fix it before it was sent out. I went out to galleries this evening and came back to see that I had left my laptop playing music - just very silly mistakes I am making. And so, I am going to go to bed before ten, right now, and will hopefully be very well rested and again feeling like myself again tomorrow, so I can stop having this crisis where I realize that my mental state and my perception of reality is built on such fragile beams, that this world outside of that structure is pretty terrifying.
One year ago today, my father died. I wish I weren't so cracked out so I could reflect on this, but, truth be told, I have barely thought about it at all today.
Tomorrow, I need to go see Borat. I am so excited and even more excited that the reviews are really perceptive and understand how intelligent Sacha Baron Cohen is and how subversive he is, all these mirrors and layers of discomfort, cultural drag to look at America - it's going to be so brilliant. I cannot wait.
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