Ethan turned 25 today. Soon I will turn 27, some nine days or so. And it keeps marching on, these days, these years, and that's great and isn't. Things change and other things don't. This and that, opposites and seeming contradictions within a single thing - and life and Whitman celebrating the contradictions within him, and have you read Ginsberg's "Kaddish" lately? It is amazing and how long has it been since you have had someone to touch your knees in bed? And does it matter? Of course it does, but what is to be done? We throw ourselves through these days and there is wine, cheap white stuff from Trader Joe's, along with weed, and emotions released, heightened, by those things, and there is Meatloaf, and maybe Ginsberg might beat him, but surely it would depend on my mood, and right now the race is a little close.
And I heard from several contacts today, emailed and called people I like, continued to try to keep these binds built over time. I might go to Baltimore soon to see Peter. I wish I was seeing Rebecca here or in Tennessee. I have advice about Mexico from Evan. I played phone tag with Bonnie about that same country south of us. And I hung out with Robert in the park by my house, talking vaguely about the situation I find myself in with him and Mark, hopefully going to be able to still be friends with this person who I occasionally wanted to reach out and touch during our hanging out but thought better off, thought that that would be confusing. I asked at least three people to go on bike rides with me. Tomorrow, I think I might go a late night bike ride with weed and ghost stories to the cemetery (for anyone potentially interested).
I bought two books today, ate lots of shit, and listened to lots of really good music, like this song, which (as if you didn't already know) is totally amazing:
[YouTube Video of "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"]