Thursday, September 18, 2008

Life is really good lately, this past week especially. And so maybe the American economy is about to tank, including my bank supposedly any day now (that being WaMu), and maybe that everything that has been happening with that is really quite incredible - absurdly so. And, yes, maybe my roommate also did tell me that I should move out this morning when I suggested she move the television into her room - that lovely flare for invented crisis and drama that Niki has and that can truly make one crazy. And so, okay, those are two things that should have me down. But they don't at all. I have unshackled myself of so many things somehow lately and feel pretty unstoppable at times. I went to the beach a couple of days ago and swam in quite cold water and had such a beautiful time there. I have clearer relationships with lots of people now, have a lot more clarity toward things, and so because of that no longer expect things to be other than what they are, and so levels of disappointment, frustration, and anxiety have all been removed. I feel lighter.

I think Whitman plays a role here - weed also - surely, should not omit that plant's renewed presence in my life - but Whitman, Whitman. So I have been reading "Song of Myself" a lot lately, the inferior Deathbed Version sadly, but quite amazing still. I have been reading this because I am part of this performance occurring this weekend at the Cell Theater, a nude choral reading of the poem. The first performance is tomorrow night and I am excited about it, curious to see how it even gets pulled off since there have been so few rehearsals. And maybe you know that Walt Whitman is a deity to me and so maybe you can understand, knowing that, how in love with life I have been with all this exposure to such gorgeous sentiments, to a world view and a vision that probably more than anything else has the ring of truth to it, to my ears. Something is plucked, some right strings, with hearing and reading these words. And so tomorrow,I will stand around naked for a few hours with a bunch of other people reading Whitman. The experience has been really fun and has made me giggle so much with thoughts of Christopher Guest movies and how I felt like I was in one.

I went to my first Spanish class this evening. I ate some free ice cream today. I know a place to eat some tomorrow also. I sat in the steam room for quite a long time after class. The weather is perfect and I am alive and what more could one want?

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