Tuesday, October 14, 2008

bjork on the stereo

I am aware of fall in a way that I wish I were all the time when I cut through the park by my house on the way to the subway. There are some brilliant splashes of red and yellow on a few of the trees there. I haven't been so aware of fall, of the incredible changes occurring in the landscape around me, because I have been preoccupied with the changes in my own life, some willed by myself, others seemingly willed by forces outside of myself, frustrating me greatly.

The good news, actually really good news, is that I got the job that I wanted. It is going to pay me a fair amount of money and will probably be quite fun also. Training, of which there are supposedly three weeks, starts on Thursday, and so these my last couple days as a free man.

Thursday is also looming for me in another way. It is when Niki is returning from her trip abroad and when the tension will probably return to our household, to what through sneaky maneuvering is actually her household, not ours.

The bad news, if really it could even be called that, is that I am not going to live with Richard. Sharing a room with him probably would have been a terrible idea, but I was still disappointed today when he told me that he was instead going to share his room with Posey. This is bad news, or appeared that way to me earlier today, because it had been my one sure method of escape, of quickly getting out of this apartment and away from Niki.

I just need to save some money in these next couple of weeks and the goal is either to move into a room in an apartment close to Manhattan, on the L for an easy commute to work, or to find a studio for rent on the L, most likely far out, and live by myself. Today, I came across two studios for around 850 nearby where I live now. Those finds have me incredibly excited. I am getting more and more excited about this idea of what it would be like to live by myself and really want to snag one of these places.

I don't know. I do know that I really hate this process of looking for a place to live, of even thinking about it, and can't wait to get this behind me.

Things are kind of weird with Diego, but I guess that's not new. I am still reading Joseph Mitchell. There is so much actually occurring, even aside from this quite tumultuous unending of my life, housing and employment wise. I am feeling love for a fair amount of the population. I recently saw Happy Go Lucky and really loved it and am considering seeing it again. A strange cat just climbed through my apartment window interrupting my thoughts, this activity of talking about my life, and there is symbolism in that, that interruption, and there is an ending in that.

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