spiders on drugs

Reading the article of the day on Wikipedia about caffeine, I came across these pictures of the effects of caffeine on spider webs. Science is amazing.



So I looked for the source of these to find that Life published this story and pictures on March 22, 1954. They gave spiders all sorts of drugs to see what types of webs they would make. Look at these! And here's a reproduction of the story.

Would I be making amazing webs sober? Does constant drinking and constant coffee make my web as janky looking as that caffeine web picture?