Monday, January 1, 2007

Really, I did not think that I would ever be able to top the horribleness of New Year's two years ago, where I was at some horrible silent meditation thing before, to avoid a panic attack, I ran out into the street, to spend New Year's alone, and then to have a psychic tell me I was going to be alone my whole life and that I was a woman trapped in a man's body. Though that was particular horrible, I think last night might actually win.

I had been feeling nauseous all day long, presumably from a taco I had eaten the night before from a taco truck. I had been lying down in bed most of the day, trying to feel better, when around six o'clock, the fun really started. I had to run to the bathroom to make it in time, and luckily did, and vomited and vomited and vomited, thinking that I had thrown up everything in my stomach. But, no, of course not. An hour later, I wasn't even able to make it to the bathroom in time, but luckily I put a mixing bowl next to my bed for this fear. It's a decent sized mixing bowl and I filled up the entire thing with vomit. I had such a headache and was feeling so dehydrated and I kept on trying to drink liquids but this only increased the frequency of throwing up to about every half hour or fifteen minutes. This went on all night long until from ten to midnight, there was no puking. But shortly after 2007 arrived, there was more puking. And then none until two. And since two, none. I hope that I don't throw up anymore today. I really cannot handle it. I haven't eaten food since lunchtime yesterday and I am pretty hungry, but so nervous about upsetting the volcano that is my stomach. There were many periods last night when I was very convinced that it would be better to be dead than to have to deal with this feeling. I cannot remember ever having felt so physically terrible in my entire life.

And, of course, this would have to happen on New Year's Eve, which I had been looking forward to all week, looking forward to interacting with the rest of the world, the one night that everyone goes out and parties, all these faces you normally never see, all happy about a new year.

This morning, I woke up to a phone call from my bank, which was concerned about recent activity on my account, and it appears that somehow, even though I have my card on me, that someone was using my debit card to pay for gas in random parts of Brooklyn. Happy New Year!

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