Thursday, January 15, 2004
Man, I love being an adult. Living on my own, working a five day a week job, having days off, and doing nothing on them. Causally playing with my pubes after masturbating, glancing at the snowy outside world through the slits in my blinds. Listening to New Order's "Temptation" on repeat for hours, that "You've got green eyes" song that I love so much. There is no one home to get annoyed about it playing on repeat, and so it gets repeated and repeated and I sing along and dance. I do this while eating half a pint of ice cream for breakfast. The same song on repeat. I turn up the volume. And man, there is nothing that comes close to this. Do you know how much freedom we have? I can eat whatever I want, no matter how bad it is for me, at whatever time I so choose. And this power to eat ice cream for breakfast, if I think about it long enough makes me so ridiculously happy. Happy, not only because I am doing what I want regardless of what I "should" be doing, but because - and this is the kicker here, the ephiphany for today that's got me coasting right now - the ability to do this thing, small as it is, is knowledge, a whispered hint that I can do whatever I want with regards to anything. That each day is filled with these potentials, these opportunities to eat ice cream fcr breakfast and listen to That Green Eyes song on repeat. And all I have to do is to do these things, to do things that give me joy, to not do things that don't, and to take control of this life, to have as much fun as possible. And with this knowledge, I think I will take a shower and kick off this day.
at 9:00 PM