Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Last night, around nine or so, my phone rang. A 718 number not in my phonebook. I don't answer my phone unless I recognize the number because there's the very good chance that it's someone I don't want to talk to, a credit collector (which normally wouldn't be a local number) and then scary guys calling me about sex work. And so I didn't answer it, hoped that they would leave a message. I hit the Silence button to shut it up, and then thought about the alternatives, thought that it might actually be someone I want to talk to, a boy or a friend whose number is no longer in my phonebook after having lost my phone so many times.

And then because I have found myself daydreaming a lot about him lately and because the human mind is not always the most rational thing, it is often given to fantasies and to inflating small possibilities into sure things, I thought that maybe this was Matt calling me, whom I have not talked to on the phone in, what, 3 years? The human mind at work! Or, maybe just my mind. And I imagined my pleasant shock at hearing his voice on the other line, his saying hello and asking me what I am doing. And then we fell into conversation really easily and made plans to meet soon. Really mad at myself for hitting silence when this could very well be my crush, could be Matt calling, I reached for my phone only to see that I had missed the call, that I was too late in this case.

They didn't leave a number. I went to the laundromat to put my clothes in the dryer. Four quarters, eight minutes a quarter, 32 minutes.

Jillian and Josh didn't sleep over last night and I am pretty sure because yesterday morning when they came out of the shower, Adele gave them the look of death. Last night, Adele told me, "Man, I was going to say something to them this morning but they were only in towels, so I felt like I should wait."

Nervous about her boldness but also thrilled by it, I asked, "What would you have said?"

"I would have said, 'Hey, so when you are moving out?'"

Jillian has not been home much, coming home late at night and staying in her room until the living room is clear. There is going to be a blowout soon I am sure. Adele hates them perhaps more than I do, which makes me happy because it makes me feel less petty, less insane, that this is not just a grudge on my part, but that someone else, my other roommate finds their behavior awful and rude and weird also. She is on the lease, which ends at the end of August, and so since I can't really kick her out, I have just been waiting for September to come to be free of her. I'd love to see her gone before then but I don't really have just reason to seek it (other than my hatred of her), and she is on the lease and could refuse to move out. She's knows we hate her. She's heard us talking about her moving out. I don't understand why she just doesn't move out to her boyfriend's apartment (which is surely what she is going to do in September) and save everyone a lot of grief.

Peter's coming to New York today? And I will see him in the next couple of days and that will be nice.

I think today might be my last day working on Wall Street. Thursday (hopefully) and Friday (for sure), I get to work from home. Monday, new offices in Midtown. I am really going to miss the ability to tell people, "I work on Wall Street." It's such a cliched movie line and I love saying it (perhaps too much so). Hopefully I can find an excuse to work it into conversations a couple hundred times today since it will probably be the last time I am able to do so.

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