Monday, December 9, 2002

guess i'll go eat worms

It is always when I have to get out of my house, when I just have to escape, when I want to spend time with other people, it is these times, when I realize how few friends I have, how I know absolutely no one that I can go visit. And I left my house a while ago, walked through the rain, losing the tension that was bottling up inside me, inside 8418 Cypress Circle, feeling collected, and of this world. I made my way to the C-Store hoping that Sarah Latshaw would be working. But no, it was Tina Jajo!!! I was so sad and took my time walking through Ham Center, making my way to the mailroom, hoping to God that I would encounter someone I knew, anyone, someone that I could spend time with, but no one - Ham Center was deserted. I took my sweet time loitering in the mailroom, checking my mailbox, checking Ben Haber's and then Andrew came in - and I was so excited, was so hoping that I could engage Andrew for a bit - but he was on his way to the SAC meeting, and so I made my way to the only room I visit on campus - the only person that I am friends with who lives there - Beki Martin. But, she too was nowhere to be found. And so sadly, I realized that I knew not one person that I could visit and that I was going to have to return home.

I made my way home through the rain again, content, excited with the falling rain and sang that "You've got gray eyes" song from the Trainspotting soundtrack, danced a little, down the street, up to my door.

I came in the house, took off my shoes, my raincoat and set down my umbrella. And then I heard my house again, Clay's grating voice - and I put right back on my shoes, my raincoat, grabbed my umbrella and walked through the rain again. This time to the library, hoping that I would find someone here - but not one person. And now, I am going to be more of a loser and go see if the one person I know on campus is back yet, and think about what a friendless loser I am some more.

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