Friday, December 20, 2002

virginia in december, right fucking now

The morning, the morning. Dawn appearing, finally. Fucking about time. Not rosy at all, but blue, a blue like a whisper, shy with its blueness, bordering on gray. Dropped my mom at the metro and soon will be picking up my sister from the train station. Going and coming. Moving moving moving. I am reading You Shall Now Our Velocity right now and this seems all too appropriate, my time on planes yesterday, dropping and picking up various family members at all these hubs of transportation. We've got the go go go spirit in this house, and maybe it's because that is life - the going and the doing - and we want to be a superlative - livingist, movingist, humanist. Most awesome. Maybe it's what we want life to be, and like Will are trying to forget the things. I am going to get a red, nylon tracksuit, and learn how to fucking break dance.

I am giving up the resolution, I resolved earlier in this diary. I am also dropping out of school, I am not telling my mom until I am safely in Sarasota. Move move go go. Far away from the guilt that will seep its way into our spatial relations. There will be a tense air between us, and yeah, I am not ready for that, don't want to deal with it. Am going to put some more, some different air between us. This means that now I can form the talked about Drop Outs with Rebecca, our band with no one that knows how to play instruments. Or we can just talk about it like we might actually do something someday. Like we would, like we will.

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