Tuesday, April 9, 2002


here's how it happened:

i woke up at six. went downstairs and ate some breakfast (puffed corn cereal with milk). i then took a shower. the most heavenly of showers. tense muscles eased and eased by scolding hot water. i entered the shower sometime around 6:15, spent so so long under that hot shower head, daydreaming of how nice a hot tub or sauna would be right then. and, no, don't do it charlie, you do not enough time to take a bath. oh, but it would feel good. just let your back and scalp be massaged by this hot water a little longer.

half an hour later at a little after 6:45, adorned in a towel, i went back to my room, closed the door, took off my towel and laid it out over my sheets so that i could lay down on my bed without getting it all wet and gross. my muscles felt so good, neurons were firing to all the right places, and i felt damn good, and did not feel like walking out the door at seven to go to Work. uh, who the fuck wants to work today? why work when you can just lay around naked and half-sleep and be the most content just powdered baby in the world.

i practiced out loud a couple of times, holding my nose, trying to sound as sick as possible, and then i called. and of course, john has to pick up. john hates me so much and thinks i am Grade A incompetent. holding my nose, i said, "this is charlie," when he answered the phone. who, he said? and about three more times, holding my nose, getting mad at his stupidity and almost laughing through my nose at the silliness, i made my name understandable to him. "yeah?," he says, in a not very nice way, perhaps anticipating what i was about to say. i told him that i was real sick and that i had already thrown up this morning, and that i had an appointment to see the doctor at 11:30, perhaps the worst attempt at lying i have ever done. "so, you're saying you're not coming in?" and i said, yeah, that i am real sick and really can't. his voice was full of disdain that doubted the credibility of my story. he then aggresivily said, "it's only seven o'clock, how could you have already made a doctor's appointment? what doctor is open at seven?" and i held my nose tighter and tried to sound real sick, and said that i had kaiser, and they had a 24 hour appointment line. and he was like, "i have 250 boxes here that need to be unpacked an i only have two people working." again, i repeated the fact that i was sick, and he said, "okay, whatever," and hung up. and yes!!!! i did it! whoo!!!

i climbed back into my bed and slept until noonish and ate another breakfast and am now about to go take another really long shower.

just say no to yes. whoo!! today is a day for dancing in my room, listening to bruce, filling out that wisconsin application, and finding someone to go drink lots of coffee with me.

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