Friday, April 19, 2002

How many possible "the revolution will not be..." titles can I come with for this entry?

Comrades, I tried my hardest to be a good progressive today, but there was this thing called Nature. A Nature to bring out the god-fearing Puritan in all of us.

So, I planned on going to the School of the Americas protest today, which was advertised to be taking place from eleven until five. Well, I woke up at eleven. And, I had to go get an Emissions inspection for my car today. When I left the house, it was Hot. Hotter than a two-humped camel's toenail. And Outkast, please forgive me, I did not just say that.

Anyways, when I left it was eighty something degrees, and blue skies as far as far can be. So, after getting the car inspected, I was on my way to the Metro. At probably two-thirty, I was on the thing, heading towards DC when holy heavens, look up in the sky and no, nothing in a cape coming our way. But imagine some of those silly visuals from the Batman live action televison show. The "POW!" The "BANG!" And the always classic, "KA-POW!"

The sky was not blue, not gray, not cloudy, but motherfucking black. Pouring rain coming down hurricane party type hard. Thunder, lightening, and all that good classic storm stuff. Very conventinal in a post-ironic sort of way. And Outkast, yeah, just slap me.

So anyways, I am listening to Jill Scott sing "Gimme, Gimme, Gimme," and have been resisting the urge to just randomly write gimme, gimme, gimme. But, I sense that this entry is getting slighty non-sensical and feel the need to somehow justify it - to let you know that I'm not always this bad of a writer, but fucking hell, I am tired from the events which I have still yet to even tell you and goddamn, I am listening to Jill Scott, and loving it.

Okay, so here's what happened. At the Capitol South stop where I got off, there was a crowd of probably thirty or so business people just standing at the bottom of the escalator, refusing to go up, refusing to get wet. They would have melted and all, you know? So they waited there in a crowd at the bottom, and I pushed through them, thinking whatever you pussies, it's just fucking rain.

But, I got to the top of the esacaltor and realized that this was not "just fucking rain". This was fucking rain!!! The biblical shit. Streets were flooded from how quick it was coming down, and the streets were deserted of pedestrians. There was the occasional person running with an umbrella. But other than that, I was alone for probably for the first time on these downtown streets of DC. Had they ever been so empty? Were they lonely, or were they loving the lack of action, like a bunch of visiting family members had just left the house and you sunk into the couch, breathing out and whoo! But, what the hell am I talking about again. Go head, Outkast, you know what to do.

Anyways, I did not bother to find out where this protest is exactly located and am soaked to the I don't even know what. Slipping because my shoes are literally filled with water. My shirt is completely see-through and sticking to my non-existant chest. Wandering around the Capitol, seeing no one at all. Wet wet wet. Cars and office workers in windows are staring at me like I have lost my fucking mind. Which is very well possible, since during thisscary thunderstorm, in which a person was killed when a tree fell on them, I am skipping in puddles up to my knees and having fun amongst all this chaos. But, then it started hailing. It was okay for a while when it was little things of hail. But then, the big hail, like the size of a dime, started pounding me, beating my ass like it was eighth grade andlocker room time. The rain was hurting - that's how hard it was coming down. So please try and imagine how hard this hail felt beating me in the head, trying to poke my eye out, and making me want to cry. So, I ran and hid under a ledge at the Library of Congress until it stopped hailing. It was still pouring but not hailing and I decide to circle the Capitol, and I see a ragtag band of probably six Dell look-a-likes sitting under a tree across from the Senate and assume that that must be what is left of this protest. I decide that I am fucking cold, and am going to get hypothermia from shivering so much and should go inside the National Gallery. I make it inside, and the motherfucking place is air-conditioned, goddamnit, all to fucking hell. People were looking at me askance because I had my pants rolled up to my knees, had a tight, white, wet t-shirt on, and was dripping all over the place. Still shivering, perhaps shivering even more because of the a/c, I went in the bathroom, pissed, and then it stopped raining and I left for home. Tomorrow is the big IMF and anti-Israel protests though, and that promises to have more than six people so I am very excited. There's all sorts of anti-Israel protests this weekend, and I am beyond ecstatic that the Left is finally embracing the Palestinian cause. For years, I have hated Israel and it's so exciting that Sharon's stupidity is finally turning the tide of American public opinion.

And this entry was a lot better in my head while I was riding the metro home, thinking about how I would talk about my inability to find events and places even after spending hours looking for them has far too much symbolism in it. I was also going to talk about how there were about a dozen Navy guys, wrestling on the front lawn of the Capitol in the mud, and I was about to jizz my fucking pants.

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