You may find this very scary - but I think that you are the dreamiest boy ever. I rung you up for your groceries today during that after work rush of people. I think all I said to you was "Sign here," when I asked you to sign your credit card receipt. (Which, by the way, is how I know what your name is - I glanced at the reciept after you handed it back to me and began to incant your name, thinking how lovely it sounded.)
I thought you looked gay, but I tend to think lots of boys are and am totatlly wrong all the time. All these guys that come into Yes look so gay in their hip, trendy clothes and then their girlfriend (aka honey) comes out of nowhere with more groceries. No lumberjack men here - they're all the vain sort that wear cute Camper shoes and thick framed glasses. Silly straight boys making it harder for me to tell their sexuality because they have to dress nice. But this isn't to say that you're vain for dressing so hip - not to say that anyone is for dressing any way - but, yeah - it just is hard to tell - but with you - you just seemed to be for some reason - and sorry if that makes you feel less masculine or some bullshit. But, see I don't think it will because you looked like such a rad boy who wouldn't care.
Anyways, this is straying big time from the point of this letter. Um, I think I like you big time. That's the point. I think I want to get a boner kissing you. I want us to run somewhere, because we just sat around talking and were so late for where we were so supposed to be, so we ran and ran and ran, and got there maybe just a little late, and were so out of breath and laughed. I want to do that. Amongst many other things. All of which we can discuss when we actually talk I guess.
Sean, I do not know why I have told you any of this, since you do not even know my name, and so I especially don't know why am I about to tell you this (but hey, do you know why you do anything? I mean, for real - what's the reason behind anything other than just because.): So, I love MTV. Yes, I know that makes me incredibly unhip, but I guess that's good that we got that out of the way now at this point in our relationship. I especially love "Dismissed," perhaps the best show on television. A person goes out on a date with two people and then at the end has to dismiss one of them. Well anyways, I'm sure you know the premise of the show, since you seem like a culturally savy boy and all - so tonight on the show, there was this boy competing for this girl, saying that he was going to win - that he's "got more game than candyland." And, I thought that that was the cutest line ever for someone to say seriously. And well, I do not have more game than candyland. I am the most socially handicapped person in the world about talking to people that I like. And so, it is very unlikely that I will ever tell you any of this, and instead will be left to wonder and dream about the might have been each time I ring you up without talking to you. But, if you get this in time, you should talk to me. The ball is in your court now - you know that I like you - and if you do nothing than I will know that you are not the boy for me and that I can move on to being neurotic about some other boy who wakes up every morning and gets dressed and without shame does his damnedest to look like a hipster.
And, perhaps I have said too much. Perhaps not. If you ever do talk to me, you can let me know.