it rained today. i ate 1.37 lbs of food from sizzlin express. i really need to start making food and bringing it to work. once darkness set in, i just stared out the window at work, waiting to go home and go to bed, and also staring at the neon reflections of store signs on pennsylannia avenue. cars zooming by on the street, their tire tracks breifly disrupting the reflection on the street. but the reflections all goes back to normal in a couple seconds. everything does.
yesterday, i saw these two cute gay boys (possibly a couple) on the metro. one of the cute boys was wearing these really cool clunky white astroman shoes. and i really want a pair of cool white shoes too bonnie. not boots though. i don't know how to describe them. but if i can't find the pair i want in white, i might just spraypaint a black pair white from payless or something.
my mom dropped me off at the metro this morning. we rode in the car not really talking. me tired as hell, staring out the window listening to the radio. bob seger. someone. third eye blind. and then alanis. i was so excited by the songs i got to hear on the way to the metro. but a couple blocks away, sitting at a light. my mom ended our silence. not the silence, because there was no such thing - the radio was on. she asked, "do you think the birds talk to each other or do you think they just fly around together?" i was real thrown by the randomness of the question and then looked up to see a bunch of little black birds sitting on the streetlamp wires hanging over the intersection. a flock above them flew back and forth, right and left, all moving as one. i laughed and said, "yeah [as in duh!], they talk." then i looked at the birds some more and thought about it, and after too much time had passed to comment further on it without seeming real random, i wanted to say, "they are the same. why can't they be the same? their movement is speech!" and then the light turned green and we joined the other cars making a left turn, and like a flock all sort of independently moved together, unrehearsed and unintentionally.
at work today, i was trying to help a really old lady find a certain brand of cookies that are really low in sugar content. we could not find them. she kept talking to me about the fact that she can not eat lots of sugar - and i mentioned the insane amounts of sugar i consume daily. she didn't slap me for being so reckless with my body - she merely laughed at the bulletproof bodies of the young and told me that when she was young she didn't have to worry about such things either. saying lots of "when you get my age..." statements, telling me what i have to look forward to in fifty or so years. we talked about how good sugar tasted. and then she said so so insightfully, "that's the way life is - the things we like don't like us." and i said, "true," and could only think about how on the mark that statement was. not just about sugar and fat and things that are bad for our body, but everything. the things we like don't like us.