I am always so embarrassed after I write stuff like the previous entry. For some reason, I am a lot more comfortable sharing my happy moments than my unhappy ones, and so here is some of the glow:
I am looking forward to tonight. Shortly, I will be leaving my apartment to go hear AM Homes and J. Hoberman talk about John Waters. Peter may go with me. Matt may go with me. Chances are very good though that neither will end up going. Matt, being the art socialite that he is, is probably going to some NYUFF parties later this evening that I have not been invited to. I want Matt to say, Hey, you should come. I don't want to invite myself, but secretly, I would really like to go. I feel like such a bored housewife, and I am so ready to cut loose on this my day off. I just have to get out of the house and rage. Yesterday, I spent all day in bed preventing a cold from forming and now I have to make up for lost time. I am so ready to drink and dance. Yes, maybe we talked about this habit yesterday. Maybe we should keep that secret.
Today, I dug through Dara's CDs and found Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation and have been dancing around the house to it all day. It is good. I am the princess in the tower, dancing away, all day, dreaming of putting on my shoes and going out into this world below, dancing, dancing, dancing, escaping for a while this loneliness, this ennui. Everything is all right while the music's loud and my body's in motion. Hopefully, hopefully, that will happen tonight.