johnnie cochran is a guest on bet tonight right now. i started "working" at barnes and nobles tonight. it can hardly be called working. it was that terribly boring process that new employees must go through called training. i sat there for four hours at a folding table with two other people being trained and our trainer, who is named mark, yet does not resemble marky mark in any way whatsoever. he is a fortyish gay man, who fits too well into what my conceptions are of how middle-aged gay men tend to act. he is short, balding, slighty stocky, has an earring, is fascinated by india and "eastern" cultures, takes dance classes, and is the reddest person in the world. if jason mezey were gay, wore an earring, wore different clothes, and was a couple shades redder, he would look just like this guy.
so, we sat there in the breakroom, listening to mark talk and read stupid pamphlet after stupid pamphlet. we started training at six pm and were supposed to be done by ten. after listening to this bullshit for hours and hours, i turned around to glimpse the clock just to validate my thought that it must be 9:30 and i would only have to sit here for another half hour. but no, what the fuck did the clock say? it said 7:15! i could not even believe it. i sat there, totally uncomfortable - my bulky wallet with far too many pennies in it, sitting in my back pocket, giving my ass major pain and cramps. shivering because i was so cold, and feeling my throat get sorer and sorer.
finally ten o'clock arrived, i sprinted out of barnes and noble, running for my car, leaving as mark was in mid-sentance as we all stood by the door, coats on, ready to go. he just kept talking and talking, repeating what time we would meet again, and other bullshit. i waited and waited, hand on door handle, thinking each sentance was his last, start to pull open the door, but he starts talking again. finally, fed up, sick and tired, i just left as he babbled and babbled.
now, i am going to go drink some hot liquid drink, curl up in bed, and most likely sleep away the entire day tomorrow.
sometimes i entertain myself by seeing where people have linked from to get to my page on sitemeter. there have been some really random google searches that have brought up my page. today, i could not be prouder of this search that brought up my page. someone searched for: jimmy fallon shirtless, and google listed my page as the first page! normally in these weird searches, my page comes up like #8,649 or something real high. but try it for yourself, go to google and search for: jimmy fallon shirtless, and my page comes up. i think that's real weird, but whatever, i also think it's real fucking cool.