Last night, after Bonnie got off of work, I was supposed to call Eric to hang out with us, but Bonnie was going to her PIRG party, and I wanted to hang out with Bonnie, but I thought it would be weird if I brought a friend to the PIRG party since I don't even really work there. So, I told him that I couldn't hang out - but I also told them because I am not sure I like him. There are some things I didn't mention about yesterday, about how Eric is sort of dorky, and not in a good way at all. When we were waiting around the Capital, he started talking about how much he liked the CIA, and I flipped out and went on and on about how horrible the CIA is, and was really pissed that this boy could like the CIA. It's like someone saying they really like fascism or the KKK. And then after I explained numerous atrocities and military coups that the CIA was responsible for, he said that he liked the idea behind it - the idea being "global security." I swear to God, I almost yelled at him, but instead was civil Marxist and talked about the imperialism of American business interests and the exploitation of foreign labor and resources, and asked him if that's what he meant by "global security."
That meant me a lot less interested in him right there, and Bonnie says that I'm a snot for this, but I think that's so indicative of what a person's broader beliefs are - the little things contribute to the big picture. People should think whatever they want, blah blah blah, but I just cannot get around things like this - I am a snot, I admit it. What was the straw that broke the camel's back though was when he told me his favorite movies, and as his first favorite he listed motherfucking Independence Day. You have got to be fucking kidding me, right?
Okay, and there really are other reasons that I am not that attracted to him. He reminds me eerily of Cory Ross, they have the exact same personality, and that's just something I cannot deal with. He's buff. Too buff. There is such a thing. And he's so silly and dorky and nice. I like people with edge that have a wicked streak. I don't know. We'll just go with what Bonnie said, and agree that I am a snob.
So, I thought that after I blew him off last night and told him that I didn't want to go the party with him, and that I'd call him sometime later this weekend, that that would be that and there would be no more Eric. But, he called this morning, and was talking in that stupid motherfucking nice voice. I mean, the actual voice isn't anything nice or special - I mean the way that he talks, he just sounds nice and naive and goddamn it, sound pissy or something! And he invited me to go to Rhythm and Boom with him (Madison's 4th of July fireworks show that is for some reason held on June 29 - I don't get it either.), and since Bonnie is leaving to go to Chicago PrideFest with PIRG tonight, I told him I'd go, because I don't want to have to sit at home all night (actually wait, I kind of like doing that, I lied), but I don't know, I have no fucking idea, I just know that Justin is going to and it sounded good to me.
People, I am beyond obsessed with Justin. I don't even know what to call it - spellbound maybe - because I just find myself randomly picturing him smiling in my head, like last night when I was about to fall asleep, and had to be like "Stop thinking about Justin, you sicko brain." Then today, I was at this Bargain Barnish store, sifting through clothes that were only $1 a pound, and didn't even realize I was thinking about Justin, and then I became conscious again, and laughed out loud, and thought to myself, "What the hell is wrong with me?" People, I don't know about going to this fireworks thing with these people, I feel like I am just going to become mute again, and try to avoid blatantly staring at Justin.
Anyways, that's enough of me sounding like stereotypical gay boy - last night, I made myself a really nice martini, talked to Nora on the phone, who I am again liking and missing, and then went with Bonnie to her work's "luau party," and so Bonnie was wearing this utterly insane Chiquita banana lady dress. I wanted to walk there, which I was soon regretting halfway, when I realized how I totally underestimated how far away this house was. We finally got there though, to what Bonnie has very excitedly told me was luau party - we walk in the door, and there are probably seven people just sitting on these couches, listening to the Beatles' "While My Guitar Gently Weeps," none of them in luau attired, nothing at all to even hint that this was a luau party, other than Bonnie's insane outfit. I was sort of regretting having agreed to come to the party, since it looked like it was going to be real dreary, and since I especiailly hate hate hate the Beatles. Bonnie and I got some beers and then said something about the music, and soon we had dance music on, and Bonnie broke out her ass that she loves to shake and soon the PIRGers were dancing, and the party improved dramatically. And that was the night, and a fairly fun one at that: drinking beer, dancing to bad music, and talking to really cool PIRGers, one of whom is Maggie fucking Ray. Okay, not really. But pretty much. Bonnie had told me there was this girl at her work, Sara, that was just like Maggie Ray. And, you know how people are always saying that about people, and then you meet the person and they don't remind you at all of that person. Well, Bonnie was right. This girl is Maggie Ray. She talks exactly like her in that sort of husky friendly voice, makes the exact same facial expressions, dances like her, and even sort of looks like her. It was so weird to see her, and made me really question what Maggie Ray is, what I am, what you are, what we all are. If there is another person exactly like us out there, what does that mean about us? Are we not distinct individuals like we like to think? What the hell - it was so weird.