Thursday, June 27, 2002


Goddamn it. I just talked to Dave on the phone, who I sort of did not want to talk to. I knew it was him that was calling and so I was just going to let the phone ring, but stupid Grahmbo picked it up and so then I had to talk to Dave. Dave is a nice guy and all, but he's 33. He's the livejournaler that Bonnie and I hung out with a couple nights ago - I was sort of worried that he would try to be more than friends. And my worries proved all too true. At the end of the night, he made out with me, even though I didn't want to at all. God, I should have talked about how grossed out by him I was when it happened in my diary, but I couldn't because motherfucker reads my diary, and would be very offended. I have no problem being friends with him, and when he called the next day, I said that it wouldn't be weird being friends with him, but that it did creep me out when he kissed me. But he still drops all these little innuendos into our phone conversations, that are really just little things, like remarking on how hot he thinks I am or how much I masturbate, but from him, from someone that I want to have a very asexual relationship, it is sort of disturbing and leads me to believe that he still likes me in a way that I am not completely comfortable with. Yesterday, he said that he wanted to go canoeing today, and since I really don't have a job or a life, and he knows that I just basically sit around the house all day, I could not just say no, so I said maybe. And, I was planning on just not answering the phone this afternoon to avoid contact with him, but that stupid Graham had to tell him I was here. I hate that motherfucking phone with a passion.

This was very bad news because I called Noodles and Company today around four, and left a message with someone, someone who told me that the manager would give me a call back in a short while. And half an hour later when the phone rang, I was too scared to answer the phone, too worried that it would be Dave, and that I would have to hang out with him, so I just did not answer it, assuming that it was Dave, since the Noodles and Company woman said that the manager might also have already left for the day. And grr, because of stupid Dave, I didn't get to talk to them. When he just called, he apoligized for not calling earlier, which meant that it was not him that called at 4:30, but probably was most likely indeed Noodles and Company, who I would have been able to set up an interview with and hopefully have started working at soon.

And then the "lecherous" [his own words] Dave wanted to know if we were doing anything tonight and I told him I didn't know if Bonnie would want to go out after she got home from work. But really, we are going to a concert tonight, and I just did not want to go to a concert with some 33 year old guy who would have been hitting on me, so we are just not going to answer the phone tonight when he calls.

I really don't like that I have a LiveJournal. I mean, I do, but I also don't. I feel so out of place here - I'm such a brand whore, and feel like I am switching to a different brand after wearing Converse all my life or something. There are some aspects of livejournal that I really like: the dialogic nature of it, how some entries can be private and others public, the current mood and music function, the stronger community. But, D-land has been home to be for a while now, I feel out of place here - like my roommate's having sex and so I'm sleeping on someone's couch just for a while - not exactly comfortable, feeling out of place. I had been thinking about trying out livejournal for a while, but now Dave has made me really want to try it, so I can talk about him or any other people that read my diary, without having to worry about hurting anyone's feelings because I can simply lock these entries.

In other news, Shannon just came to my door shirtless asking for a mirror, and I gave him one, and asked him what it was for. And he was just looking at it lying flat in his palms, and kept on repeating, "Oh yeah, this is perfect." And, I don't know what is wrong with me, but the only reason I could think he needed a small mirror was to do drugs. And yes, I did in fact, just ask Heartthrob USA, "Is it to snort stuff off of?" But, I don't even think he heard me because he answered me right after I asked it completely unfazed, saying that he was cutting the hair of the back of his neck.

No comments:

Post a Comment