Sunday, May 22, 2005

Last night, I went to galleries with Niki and within two hours had seven beers. After that, I went to Capone's and had a couple more. Not surprisingly, today, I do not feel so hot. The weather is crappy and grey outside. I am not sure if this is for the good or the bad, that if I am going to be in a bad physical state, the weather should be also - or that, perhaps if the weather was brighter, I, too, would feel brighter.

Surprisingly though, I did manage to win a game of Scrabble against Jesse Weiner who was in my apartment last night because Niki was, and Niki passed out about two minutes after his arrival, leaving me to try to make conversation with a boy who does not do so, but instead smiles silently. I kept staring at his hands last night while he was arranging his letters and imagined his fingers doing dirty things. The things your mind is capable of is awesome. I saw those muscular fingers clutching his dick, reaching in someone's asshole and then he played his letters, and he was dressed again, he was that awkward boy again who makes me mildly uncomfortable and it was my turn.

I am reading Everything is Illuminated right now. Years ago, when it was first published, I tried reading it and could not make it past the first ten pages because I was so annoyed with the way it was written. I picked it up again at my mom's house when I was home in Virginia and now, I love it and think it is so good and so well written, startlingly so. I emailed Peter a passage from it yesterday because it was so intelligent, and this was the kicker of that passage:

They reciprocated the great and saving lie - that our love for things is greater than our love for our love for things - willfully playing the parts they wrote for themselves, willfully creating and believing fictions necessary for life. (83)

I am hungry and I am going to go spend the last six dollars I have on General Tso's chicken with pork fried rice. I need to do some work tonight but that is not going to happen because of this hangover, so tomorrow, I will have to if I want food to eat. I am starting a sex worker group with Adrian. Meeting at my house June 1 for any interested sluts.

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