we then got into a good long parade of lesbian jokes. this started the ball rolling:
sarah: wow, there sure does seem to be lots of dykes here.
me: yeah, that's because it's an adult women's basketball league. what do you expect? adult women's anysport equals lesbians.
sarah (unlike hillary) ran with that ball for a good while. when that ran out of steam, we began laughing at the players again. some of them were pretty goddamn awful. anyways, hillary's team lost big time, sarah talked to her for a while after and then we went to the barnside diner to meet sarah's friends, vince and lisa.
they were already seated when we arrived. i got a pepsi when what i really wanted was a coke. sarah also got a pepsi, but she actually wanted a pepsi. and it was at that point, when the waitress kindly said that they only had pepsi, that my mood shifted from super happy to super sour. the heat was just past the point of comfortableness in the diner. it was so fucking hot in there, making me big time agitated and restless. in addition, vince and lisa smoke like no one else. no breaks even between the cigarettes, just constant smoke in my face making me even more upset. but smile and laugh, don't look upset. i realized that i am not friends with any smokers, and so i am not used to having to deal with smoke. i have been lucky that i haven't had to be around people that have a habit that seriously gives me headaches. perhaps, this is why none of my friends are smokers, because i probably had no desire to try to form a friendship with them after they do something that makes me so want to throw shit at them. i seriously wanted to leave so many times - to just escape the heat and the smoke, and the having to listen to tedious conversation about people whom i really did not even know. but i couldn't leave, sarah drove. so for probably three plus hours, i sat in this diner, seriously fantasizing about taking their packs of menthol marlboro lights and stomping on them repeatedly, right before fleeing into the cool night, laughing maniaclly. but, i didn't have a getaway car since sarah drove.
mariah carey came on over the radio, and vince got so excited and asked me if i liked mariah. i said i hated her, but ended up singing along just because i knew the lyrics and it was some escape from the diner table dynamics. a mariah discussion ensued.
sarah: hey did you hear that her label paid like 15 million dollar for her to tear up her contract?
all (except sarah): yeah, yeah
lisa: i think it was actually 28 million.
vince: good job. see, you've been keeping up on mariah. everyone loves mariah.
is this for real? am i really happening? when sarah said 15 million, i corrected her in my head, thinking that it was really about 28 million or something. when vince said "good job" to lisa, i was like what the fuck? why do i know this? i am watching far too much tv, if i know all this mariah gossip. i need to quit watching so much tv.
finally they asked for the check, and then sarah and i went to tower records and listened to all the listening stations. we left and then weird thing #1 happened that made me wonder how me and sarah are still friends: she said she needed to stop and pick up some "feminine products" without any hint of irony. she then stopped at safeway, and we went in. she told me that i couldn't stand next to her when she bought them. what? are you for real? and yes folks, she totally was. we got to the aisle, and she was so embarrassed and gave me her keys and begged me to wait in the car. i could not even believe that this gay girl was being so silly about buying motherfucking tampons in front of a gay boy. what, might i see the box? whatever, i went and waited in the car. she came out about five minutes later with no bag, saying they didn't have what she needed. i didn't even want to ask what type of tampons she couldn't find in the entire motherfucking tampon aisle. we drove to a couple more stores, none of which were open.
weird thing #2 that makes me wonder how we are still friends: she was telling me some story about when she was riding in hillary's car, giving lots of details, and one of them was hillary was listening to "black music." abruptly lift the record needle.
-you know, she was listening to wu-tang or something.
-okay, whatever. go head with your story.[meanwhile, i am still a little apalled by what she said, but not feeling like arguing with someone that's been a close friend since ninth grade.]
weird thing #3 that makes me wonder how we still are friends: we're listening to z104 and the dj basically does a target promotion, saying something like, "and u2 just released a new album of b-sides and remixes that is only available at target stores." lame, right? but sarah exclaims, "whoa! that's so exciting," in a way where you can't tell if she's being serious or sarcastic. so, i asked her if she was serious? and she said another real enthusiatic "yeah," explaining that u2 is really cool, and that she needed to go to target tomorrow.
but whatever, i know why we remain friends. because we both are immature and love to laugh at everything together, and we have so many shared stories and all. i don't know. i'm tired. i'm going to bed. i'm supposed to go job hunting with sarah tomorrow at ten. but most likely both of us will oversleep. and that's another reason we're friends.