Wednesday, January 23, 2002

eventually it will plateau

because i have no common sense, i went all the way down to dupont circle to apply at melody records, without calling first to make sure they were still hiring.

RETAIL POSITION AVAILABLE at Melody Records for bright, energetic customer individual with excellent customer service skills, superb attention to detail and hard worker. Please apply in person, 1623 Connecticut Ave. NW.

i didn't leave my house until four something because i started listening to sade's "love deluxe," and got very mellowed out and did not feel like leaving the house to apply for jobs.

i rode on the metro to dupont next to some twenty-something girl who is listening to go-go very loudly on her headphones, which made me very excited. sitting ahead of me by about two rows, sitting facing sideways, was the cutest boy ever, circling ads in the want ads. he was very cute, and i think he saw me staring at him a couple of times. i kept on turning to the side whenever he lifted his head to look our way. i get off at dupont, and i don't know what the fuck i was thinking - i don't know why i thought it would be fun to work in a snotty gay neighborhood. at the top of the esacaltor, i suddenly get intimidated by having super hot gay dudes walking next to me, walking past me, walking every which way. crowds of gay men intimidate me more than anything and i'm not exactly sure why. but whatever, i walk as fast as i can to melody records. i enter the store and ask: are you still hiring? music store dude responds: nope, we just hired someone yesterday. me: okay, well thanks. (but really i was thinking: grr-what-a-waste-of-time-another-reason-i-hate-dupont-grrr-double-grrrgrr).

so i rode the metro back home very sad, feeling very silly for feeling so lame around gay people and also upset because the motherfucking store was not hiring anymore. i get on the red line. get off at gallery place/chinatown and switch to the yellow line. i manage to grab a seat, sit there depressed and observe all the people crowded around me who just got off work and look so glum.

-the man next to me was reading some book of poetry. i kept trying to glance at what it was. finally, i saw the back cover and it was by tao te ching. he also would occasionally consult a paperback dictionary to look up certain words, i guess.
-a really loud set of two females behind me kept talking and talking. i overheard one of them exclaim, "eventually it will plateau!" i didn't know what that was in reference too, but for some reason that quote seemed real appropriate to the current moment and my mind chewed on its meaning for a while.
-a businessman in a nice suit was wearing cowboy boots.
-a woman across the aisle was reading, "in it to win it?," which sounded like a real lame self-help book. and in addition, she was hi-lighting it with a yellow hi-lighter.
-some ad in one of the metro stations said, "anticipation of things to come." i don't remember what the ad was for.
-a few people were reading the washington post.
-a 20 something girl was wearing a cordoroy jacket, like the type jordan catilono used to wear, and it made me really want one. i am going to keep my eye out for one of them the next time i go to goodwill.
-an old man, wearing a usa baseball cap, was asleep in his seat, leaning forward, with a copy of "harry potter and the goblet of fire" in his lap.
-two strangers were sharing a seat, both asleep. one with his head leaning forward, the other with her head leaning backwards.

and, i guess i'll go job-hunting again tomorrow, once it reaches five o clock, i just for some reason don't like to apply for jobs. i tell myself that it is because it is better to apply in the daytime, but most likely it is because i am sort of lazy.

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