three doors down

Last night, I had a scare on my way to the Chinese place. Taped to the backside of our front door was a sign saying "BEWARE OF PIT BULLS AT 418 GRAND", followed by a letter underneath describing how this person was severely attacked by a pitbull from that house, the dog was taken in, and yet, for some reason was released again to the owner. I already have a really strong fear of pit bulls, and it is an effort for me not to cry like a baby when I have to walk past the numerous ones that are in my neighborhood unleashed and menacing looking while their equally menacing owners stand by, ready, I am convinced, to give the attack command as soon as I am near. So these vicious pitbulls that attacked this person who had to get stiches live three doors down.

My Chinese food was yummy. The bottle of Cabernet I was so excited about was not so yummy. Then I realized that maybe the Malbec wasn't so yummy either, that maybe because I had not had one before, I had nothing to compare it to, and so, of course, it would taste good. But Cabernets, I have had far too many of, too many good ones, and so I know when one is not up to par. Maybe, I just need to try new wines from now on, so I won't be dissapointed that something doesn't measure up to the criterion I have established for a certain varietal.

I headed out to No. 1 Chinese, because I like habits, I like getting Cabernets and spicy pork burritos, and also because Patrick, my favorite dj, was playing. It was a weird crowd, full of lots of grimy, rocker straight boys. They danced a lot, which was good. But the straight energy, not so good. The music, excellent. I was a little boy crazy, in love with so many boys there last night. Question: What type of boy has the confidence to wear an all white outfit? Answer: The dreamy type. This boy was so cool, too cool for this party, sat on a couch the whole time looking bored out of his mind.

Ashton was there also and I talked to him for one hot minute before he left and pretty much spent the rest of my night plotting how I could make out with him. Ethan and I left shortly after various crushes did so and I rode the subway home, drunker than I thought because I found myself way too blatantly cruising boys on the L. This one German looking nurse was really cute and I caught him checking me out but then he would always turn away when I looked his way. I kept on trying to make eye contact with him the whole ride home. And at some point, right before my stop, I made eyes with this cute Asian boy who was at the other end of the train. I held the stare, didn't shy away, and he held it too. I was curious to see what would happen and I am not a pitbull. I'm all bark and none of the bite because holding the stare, this boy walked all the way to my end of the train and I totally chickened out and stared down at my feet and he was standing right next to me. I could feel him looking at me and I was too afraid to turn my head and make eye contact.

I got off at my stop and walked really fast to the exit, got up the stairs and saw those pit bull signs. This person, the attacked person, had put up signs all around the Lorimer stop, the whole way home, every ten feet or so, some of them even hand written, BEWARE OF PITBULLS, again and again, this fear inducing slogan leading me home.