Sunday, December 23, 2001

archie bunker makes me want to uh-uh-uh

entry #2:
nick at nite is so goddamn good sometimes. they play an hour of all in the family, followed by an hour of cheers, followed by an hour of family ties. what more could one ever want? okay, maybe some people might want more, and you might even call these people normal, but the last few nights i have desired nothing more and have spent my nights on the couch watching reruns on nick at nite.

my car is ka-poot. the radiator is busted, and so now i have no convenient method of transportation. i could always take the bus and metro, but that would involve getting off my ass. i have had no desire to call any one of my friends to see how they are doing, and to see if they want to do something. rather, i wake up around noon, play on the internet, eat some food, read some of the odyessy, go jogging, then settle in for some good ol' archie bunker, sam malone, and alex p. keaton. oh yeah.

and i daydream. oh, how i daydream. i've been daydreaming so much about boys recently. thinking of travis ralston from middle school and how he called me fag all the time and beat my ass. and how i used to masturbate all the time to thoughts of how hot he was - its all about those semi-masochistic seventh-grade fantasies. thinking of how hot all the people were who treated you like shit. travis ralston. uh-uh-uh.

thinking of shane riley, who i have not thought of in quite a while. for real, i have not had fantasies about him since last spring. this is a long time to people that knew me my first two years at new college when every other sentence i said was about shane. but for some reason, my lack of social interaction has resparked my love of shane. and last night i had super good dreams about the doctor, and today i was thinking how sad it is that i may never see him again, since he is graduating this jan., and oh god what if i never get to see him again. he really is, for me, the most beautiful boy ever. i have been recalling just about every interaction i've ever had with shane and just shivering with delight at the memories of mister riley.

watching all in the family and loving archie bunker for all his spunk, and realizing that archie's facial expressions are way too close to those that drew geer makes when i talk to him. those patronizing expressions archie gives to edith are so close to the patronizing looks i would get from drew when i would drunkenly try to get him to make out with me. and so watching nick at nite has made me start to daydream about drew geer and how super cute he is.

and i'm going to alter an anna-maria phrase to decribe beautiful beautiful drew. when i talked to anna-maria about boys a year or so ago, she dropped the best phrase ever, one that still has not left my lexicon: "that keith bentele look-at-you-looking-at-me look." and drew has mastered that look so well and gives it to me all the motherfucking time whenever i excitedly approach him.

and an old usher song says "you make me wanna uh-uh-uh uh-uh, you make wanna uh-uh-uh uh-uh" and that is what i keep singing right now thinking about drew. i, of course, forget about the line that the uh-uh's really just lead up to: "that you make me wanna leave the one i'm with, and start a new relationship." i just keep saying, "drew, you make me wanna uh-uh-uh uh-uh!!" cause of course i cannot leave the one i'm with, since there is no one i'm with. the only person i can leave is archie bunker and my fun nick at nite reruns.

and i don't even know if i would want to do that since archie's so great. he just told some mustachioed punk: "ain't you got a little class to go with that moustache." i just want to uh-uh-uh and daydream about boys.

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