Tuesday, December 25, 2001

tsk is no saint nick

i just finished watching sixteen candles, which has made me feel so so good and makes me want a cute boy to smooch like jake. my sister got the movie for x-mas, and i was far more excited than she was because i had just been thinking about going to blockbuster to rent a bunch of john hughes movies. this one i had never seen for some reason because whenever i go to blockbuster with a hankering for an eighties movie, i always end up renting pretty in pink or better off dead. and this one's pretty damn good, except its so so not pc. there are all these horrible asian jokes in the movie. an exchange student is called a chinaman and his motherfucking name is dumb duck dong or something real offensive. and in addition, a gong is played whenever he enters the scene. other than that, the movie was so fucking good and had that remarkable ability that all eighties teen movies seem to have to make me feel so so good, and to make me want some cute person to do stupid things for to try to win them over. and i always end up wanting someone to dramatically kiss while some new wave song starts blaring as the camera pans out. and me and said unattainable cute boy kiss without inhibition in the middle of the street or some such place as the closing credits start to roll.

that would be so so nice. but daydreams aside, my actual day was pretty damn good, too. me and my sister woke up at eight something, woke up our parents, and started opening presents. there's something about christmas day in our family where we still act like we're eight and wake up so early. i seriously woke up at six and was like nope, too early, my mom will shoot me. my sister told me that she woke up at six thirty and went back to bed, and then finally at eight thirty after being awake in bed for a while, i checked to see if my sister was up. and she was just lying awake in bed, too. she jumped up when she saw that i was awake, and we proceeded to wake up our parents, and then sprinted to the tree.

i got a bunch of cd's and books that i had wanted, so i was excited about that. i did not get one bad cd. one is normally a conservative estimate for how many bad cd's i get. last x-mas, i got a john secada cd and a creed one. this year, there was none of that nonsense. i also recieved cash from relatives, which made me so so happy since i was so so broke. and even though, i ask my mom every christmas and birthday, please do not buy me any clothes, she once again bought me some clothes that can be categorized as god-awful, and which will be placed in the bottom of my dresser with the rest of their jailed comrades.

we then ate brunch, and i pigged out, and afterwards fell asleep reading the odyssey. i woke up read some more, and then watched tv with my family.

like mike sanderson, i also watched snl reruns on comedy central today. and they had a recent episode on with jimmy fallon (my boyfriend, in case you didn't know) and the castmember i hate so so much: chris kattan. chris is so goddamn obnoxious because he thinks loud = funny, and so he's always cringe-inducing loud. his most obnoxious recurring role is mango. i cringe everytime this skit comes on. i motherfucking hate mango and was just thinking that when i was watching it today, about how much i wish i could throw tomatos at chris kattan.

and then later in the day, i'm playing around on the internet reading peoples' oljs. and i read mike sandersons, and lo and behold, what does this boy say about mango: "A Saturday Night Live sketch, in which “Mango” returns home for Christmas, is what I imagine it’s like when Charlie goes home for break. Charlie even looks and acts like the Mango, with the same shill, annoying shriek."

ahhh, say it is not so. this really distressed me. for some reason, it always distresses me when someone makes an observation about their perceptions of me and it is totally not aligned with how i (mis?)percieve myself. i have hated chris kattan for so long, thinking he's so loud and abrasive, and tsk thinks i "look and act" like him. oh, this was the only not so hot part of my day, which forced me to rethink my perceptions of myself, and maybe i need to not be so shrill if someone is thinking i resemble mango.

anyways, i have wasted too much time just now, giving thought to chris kattan. so, instead i will talk about jimmy. oh, mister fallon, how i love you, let me count the ways: you're not chris kattan. you have super cute brown hair. when you play shy, you bite your thumb, and it looks so so dreamy. you're funny as hell. you can play the guitar. and you're motherfucking jimmy fallon, cutest castmember ever.

if anyone doesn't watch snl, i must encourage you to watch it religiously. if you do not know who jimmy fallon is you are so missing out. this boy is so red hot. in the episode they showed today, he was in this skit, where he was a new jersey trashy high school student videotaping himself at school. and he kept on making out with his girlfriend. let me tell how jealous/envious i was during this part: so so jealous. dude, this part made me want jimmy so bad. it made me want to make out with anyone so bad. i don't know what is wrong with me, but today i just keep on finding myself longing to french some cute boy. when odysseus slept with circe, i ascended into la-la land and daydreamt i was just making out bigtime with random cute boy. and then, there were also the aforemetioned incidents of snl and sixteen candles, where i just was overcome with this yearning to have someone to smooch.

but, no one wants to smooch chris kattan, well maybe some people do, but these are not people that anyone would want to smooch - they're called psycho. chris katan is so obnoxious. but, i guess being compared to chris kattan is better than being compared to horatio sanz, or one of the really bobo cast members.

oh, and back to the subject of jimmy fallon: i have plans for this boy. i am going to become his #1 stalker when i am in ny. i have my saturday nights already planned, i am going to wait outside of nbc studios with all the other snl geeks for the cast members to leave, and i am going to motherfucking tackle jimmy. jimmy will be mine. oh yes, he will be mine.

1 comment:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete