Thursday, December 13, 2001

get in my belly

-molly's in labor right now, she's doing real good, and the baby should be born in a couple of hours

my uncle just called all excited to tell my family that my mom's sister who lives in dc, is about to give birth. of course, i am the only one home and so he tells me all about it, even though he really wants to talk to my mom, but he's happy to tell the news to anyone. the thrill of being the town-crier, of being privy to information before anyone else and being in charge of dissemination. my uncle's high with this thrill, and also probably high off the thought that he will soon be a parent. my mom is in alabama, or if her flight has left already, she's in the air somewhere between alabama and here. in a few hours, i have to pick her up from the airport, at which point she will be very excited by this news and talk to me forever about it and may even end up going to visit my aunt.

in a couple of hours, i will have another cousin, there will be a new human being existent. that all seems so wild and fantastical -- this entire process of life coming into the world. i wonder how my aunt is feeling with a person inside her belly, and i wonder how she'll feel in a couple of hours when her belly is deflated and there is some brand new person in her arms, that she pushed out of her vagina. this is one of the few reasons that i think it would be super-cool to be a woman. i really want to be pregnant, and be a god of sorts by bringing life into the world. if i only had a uterus.

these thoughts are so not the type i need to be thinking right now. i have still yet to figure out what the hell i am going to write this faulkner paper about, and i still have to go to the airport, and then i will have to listen to my mom babble excitedly about my aunt.

fuck this paper. i just want to daydream that i am a pregnant male like ah-nold in that oh so bad movie that i cannot even recall the name of. but, it was sooo bad. so probably not a pregnant male like ah-nold, after all. maybe i'll just daydream about being a pregnant female.

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