after i watched the movie i stared into space for a good long while thinking about absolutely nothing. nothing.
after doing that for way too long, i listened to bonnie and india talk about boys. india was in the exact same position on the couch that becky was in when she came over last night and started whining about boys. the conversation in both instances seemed very tedious, and made me think how boring people must think i am, since that is probably what i sound like all of the time, since i have a tendency to talk about my crushes to whomever i run into and am forced to make conversation with. why are boys so often the subject of conversation? it seems so 8th grade sometimes.
so then to awake myself and to feel energized, i decided to take an ice bath. oh my god, it was so nice. i filled the tub with cold water, dr brommers peppermint castile soap, a huge bag of ice that anne had bought a while ago for her picnic, and all the little trays of ice from our freezer. it reminded me so much of my first year when me and leslie had our brief polar bear club, where a couple times we went swimming in the pool early in the morning when it was real super cold. i don't know what it is about being in cold water, but i fucking love it, it is the most intense sensation other than being on fun drugs, and maybe even more so than that. dude, your entire body gets covered in goose bumps and you kind of want to get out of the water but you kind of don't because the sensation is just so fucking wonderful.
i just took a bath for the first time since i was a kid about a month ago. it was a super hot bath, accompanied with a cup of wine, and some coltrane playing. and it was so so nice -- afterwards i just collapsed into my bed and went big time nighty night.
this bath, my second one since i was a kid, was fun in a totally different way. it made me awake instead of tired. and i had much more fun this time, as i remembered all the things that i did in the tub when i was a kid. i slid around in the tub, back and forth back and forth making waves crash against the tub. i splashed water over my head. i made bubbles. i counted to see how long i could stay underwater (37 seconds). and then i did some things that i didn't do when i was a kid, that made this bath all the more fun. i played with all sorts of body parts. submerging them. having them be above the surface of the water while i submerged the rest of my body. washing my body with care while reciting lines from song of myself ("i believe in the flesh and the appetites, seeing, hearing and feeling are all miracles and each part and tag of me is a miracle, divine am i inside and out, and i make holy whatever i touch or am touched from . . .)it was all just so nice and relaxing and so not my postcolonial paper that i'm supposed to be writing. i then put on a facial mask, some warm pj's, and thought i would write an entry so i wouldn't have to start working on my paper. and, now i am going to go make myself something to eat, and then i guess i'll start working on that stupid motherfucking paper.