I know that this isn't a funny story, but this lede had me in stitches, as did the second and third paragraph:
The sleeping pill Ambien seems to unlock a primitive desire to eat in some patients, according to emerging medical case studies that describe how the drug's users sometimes sleepwalk into their kitchens, claw through their refrigerators like animals and consume calories ranging into the thousands.
In news concerning me, the Princeton Review ran out of work yesterday and so I am out of work for a couple weeks again and need to find a new job ASAP. That is the bad or the good news. Right now, bad. If I find another amazing job tomorrow because of this, that would be good news. But that's a big if. Unambigious good news is that I am going to have a very short story published this fall in Userlands, an anthology being printed by Dennis Cooper's series with Akashic Books, Little House on the Bowery. The real exciting thing is that the collection is being edited by him. This is exciting because Cooper is someone who I think is a very principled artist and because of that, someone whom I admire immensely. Here is a picture of the cover.
The weather is amazing again. I am going to drink some coffee, put on some deodorant since for some reason I can smell my body odor even though I just got out of the shower, and then I guess, you know, listen to the Rolling Stones really loudly and during the songs I don't love, try to focus just a little and apply to some jobs.