Niki told me that this is not news when I exclaimed to her on the phone painfully hungover but still happy with life, "I am boy crazy!" And no, it is not news. Most of you, if you know me at all, know this.
Seriously, all I want to do is flirt with boys all day long, all night long - until the sun comes up. The number of people I made out with last night is pretty outrageous. The night started off on such a bad foot with an insane cab ride where I thought we were going to die (seriously) to get to this party before the open bar closed. We got there to the Frying Pan with a horrible guestlist debacle that was made more stressful with Niki being Niki and pushing her way in anyway, dragging us through this back entry way and eventually losing me and her other friend. The two of us decided it was lame there, not worth getting beat up by scary bouncers to listen to bad music and hang out with meatheads. So we left, and perhaps it was this, me wanting to correct that, erase it from the night's memory why I totally raged last night.
I went and met Greg and his friend, Christina, at Orchard Bar where I drank a few drinks to begin to erase that awful experience and they were playing really awesome old r and b there that made me so happy. Boys II Men! Fuck yeah! I commented to Greg about how happy I would be if they played En Vogue. And with each song that came on, I kept hoping it would be En Vogue, but it never happened, or at least not while we were there. They all left to go to Lit and I followed and stayed at Lit for all of about two hot minutes because that place makes me want to slash my wrists. Some bars just put me on edge and that is one of them. So I left Greg and company and walked up to 14th Street to meet Ethan who was taking a very long time to get into Manhattan. Waiting for him, trying to keep my momentum going which was crashing in a major way, I ate a slice of pizza and finally Ethan showed up and we went to Hanger Bar and downed a couple of dollar whisky and cokes before going to the Cock.
I used all those drink tickets I had gotten a while ago and oh my god, just one of those drinks would have been enough to knock me out had I not also already had five drinks before arriving there. The bartender poured basically a full cup of awful rum and then added a splash of coke. Wowsers! Three of those, and yeah, that's why I was a little out of control there at the Cock. And sometimes, last night, the Cock is my favorite bar in New York. I have some friends that don't get it, that don't feel the excitement of the place, or think it is a sleazy bar full of dirty old men (which it is, but which is also what makes it awesome).
The sexual energy that is gathered in that room is pretty electric and within minutes of being there, I felt the pricklings in my fingers and loved it so much. The Cock is a bar with no pretenstions, occasionally some, but I also think this is why some people don't love it - that they don't know how to behave in a setting where people don't really care about small talk or what you do or what bands you know. Everyone there has their sex eyes on when they look at you and it is so amazing. So maybe there was this one geriatric who kept staring at me all night and that was kind of annoying but not even that much because there were others, cuter ones, non-geriatric ones.
Everytime I went to the urinal, I ended up talking to the person next to me and staring at each other's penises and then zipping up and making out right outside the bathroom. No, seriously, this happened three times - everytime I went to the bathroom. And then there were countless other boys that I ended up making out with. One of those boys, was this really cute nice boy who kept following me around and I guess liked me, but he was too nice and too in my way because all I wanted to do was swallow every boy's face in the bar. I felt bad about blowing him off, but come on, you are at the Cock. Our making out was originally interupted by these two guys walking past us who then started talking to us and no joke, about ten seconds after I quit making out with the boy that liked me, I started making out with one of those two guys, this guy, Todd, a teacher in NY, originally from Ohio. No self control whatsoever!
And at some point because the gods were smiling on me, over the speakers, I heard the opening call of En Vouge's "Never Gonna Get It." I was so excited, beyond excited and danced so happy.
And yeah, then as you already know, there was some backroom action which I am not going to tell you about but will tell you how it started to explain why I love the Cock, how sex is only a brush on the shoulders away. This boy walked past me, said hi. I started to make out with him. He stopped it after about ten seconds and told me to follow him. I did and he sat down on a bench in the back and unzipped my pants.
And while I was being naughty, the lights were turned on so bright and they said everyone out because it was four. Out in front of the bar, I saw Todd talking to someone. Because I was drunk, I either didn't notice or didn't care that this someone was hitting on Todd, doing that whole shuffle before heading home together. I just started talking to Todd, at some point gave him my number, told him I was going to Punjabi and then I realized that I was major cock blocking and that this someone was not looking at me with sex eyes, but with death eyes. Todd told me and this someone that he would come with me to Punjabi and we walked there talking about something or other and I kept looking at his serious brown eyes so happy to be on the street side by side with this boy.
We ate food and chatted on a stoop for a decent time about something or other again - and again, it is not really being all that important because I was so in love with looking at this boy. I really love it when social interaction happens easily and there is no anxiousness, that things come easily and you can hold a stare and not be weird or not averting your eyes. I bought glue traps at the bodega while he used the ATM so he could catch a cab. On the corner, saying good-bye, I was losing my walk signal - it turned to a blinking hand and there are these things that make good-byes less awkward, easier, a blinking hand telling me I have to cross Houston now or wait till the next time the light changes - and so I kissed him goodbye and scampered across the street to the subway so happy.
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